When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life. 

I was at church last night, and the pastor said, ‘You want more friends? Be friendly. 

Of course I want people to like me, but more importantly, I don’t want people to dislike me. 

I have this defense mechanism, this survival tactic of playing dumb. It’s my way of playing possum. 

We get to talk about manly s**t. Because we’re dudes. Although, on the man scale. 

I have some weird habits. For instance, I love beets. Show me a salad bar and I will clean them out of their beets.

I loved to always get naked. I was very free, so I thought, I may as well get paid. 

Being in good physical shape is the best way to combat depression. You just have endorphins running around your body. It is the best anti-depressive that there is 

You can't have a laugh track that sort of tells the audience when to laugh and, you know, it's difficult to find those moments. 

I don't even know how I ended up with the woman that I'm with!