TV Shows31 Best 'The Office' Quotes | Michael Scott Quotes from The Office

31 Best ‘The Office’ Quotes | Michael Scott Quotes from The Office

I am sure ‘The Office‘ is one of the best TV Shows of your life. As one of the most iconic shows of all time, with some of the most amazing characters of all time, it’s pretty obvious that The Office has more than a few quotable one-liners. Here are a few of the best The Office Quotes:

The Office Quotes



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1. Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: The Negotiation

michael scott quotes

2. No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 1: Pilot

3. Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Fun Run 

4. Oh! God, My mind is going a mile an hour.

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michael scott funny quotes

5. Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked and enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Fun Run (1)

6. Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Goodbye, Toby (1)

7. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 2: The Fight

8. I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hard working.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 7: Training Day

michael scott quotes

9. I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 4: Fun Run (1)

10. The worst thing about prison was the dementors.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: The Convict

funny office quotes

11. I want you to rub butter on my foot…Pam, please? I have Country Crock.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 2: The Injury

Funny Quotes from The Office

12. If you don’t like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus…Or the front of the bus or drive the bus.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: Beach Games

13. My parents used to scramble to find babysitters, so they could take my little brother to do stuff.
— Andy Bernard (Ed Helms), The Office, Season 7: Andy’s Play

14. If you break that girl’s heart, I will kill you. That’s just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl’s heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family.
— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 7: Viewing Party

15. Well, Happy Birthday Jesus. Sorry, your party’s so lame.

16. “I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?”


17.  “Dwight, you ignorant slut!”

18. “Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.”

19.  “I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”

funny office quotes

20. “And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”

21. “I. Declare. Bankruptcy!”

the office quotes Michael Scott22.  “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’ – Wayne Gretsky’ – Michael Scott”

the office quotes

23. “I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

24. “Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”

office quotes

25. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

26. “The machine knows. Stop yelling at me!” “There’s no road here!”

27. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”

28. My perfect Valentine’s day? I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 7: PDA

29. Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.

— Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling), The Office, Season 8: After Hours

30. It is St. Patrick’s Day….It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 6: The Delivery (1)

31. I don’t understand. We have a day honoring Martin Luther King, but he didn’t even work here.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office, Season 3: Grief Counseling

Read Also: The Best 100+ Quotes About Home | Home Sayings and Quotes


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