60 Letterkenny Quotes About Life, Love and Farming

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The dialogue on Letterkenny seems impenetrable the first time you watch it, maybe even the second or third. You might have to read some new quotes, but don’t worry we have you covered with these entertaining Letterkenny quotes.

This comedy series showcases the antics of the residents of Letterkenny, a small rural community in Canada. Siblings Wayne and Katy run a small farm and produce stand, with Wayne’s friends Daryl and “Squirrely” Dan helping out.

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If you are a fan of the Letterkenny, then you will love these funny Letterkenny quotes, learn some everyday slang, and have a good laugh!

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Letterkenny Quotes

1. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” – Squirrelly Dan

2. “I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit!. Good Enough!” – Gail

Letterkenny Quotes by gail
Letterkenny Quotes by Gail

3. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” – Gail

4. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.” – Squirrelly Dan

5. “Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!” – Letterkenny

6. “The New Season Of Letterkenny Is Coming To Cravetv. So Pitter Patter, Lets Get At’er And Watch It Already.” – Letterkenny

7. “…I’m too fat to run.” – Squirrelly Dan

8. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.”  – Daryl

9. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” – Katy

Letterkenny Quotes by Katy
Letterkenny Quotes by Katy

10. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? – Jonesy

11. “We need backup, boys.” – Jonesy

12. “Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.” – Everyone

13. “Where’s the sacrifice?” – Jonesy

14. “Figure it out!” – Everyone

15. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” -Reilly

16. “Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses.” – Jonesy

17. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” – Shoresy

18. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” – Katy

Letterkenny Quotes

19. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” – Coach

20. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” – Katy

21. “Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” – Jonesy

22. “Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.” – Reilly

23. Yes Dear, Pick Up Milk On The Way Home. That’s A Texas Sized 10-4.

24. “Daryl: You guys do CrossFit? Wayne: You can cross fuck off.”

25. I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.

26. Make Sure You Use That There Sunscreen ‘Cause It’s A Great Day For Hay.

Letterkenny Quotes from Wayne

27. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” – Wayne

Letterkenny Quotes by Wayne
Letterkenny Quotes by Wayne

28. “You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.” – Wayne

29. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” – Wayne

30. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.” – Wayne

31. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.” – Wayne

32. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” – Wayne

33. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” – Wayne

34. “And I suggest you let that one marinate.” – Wayne

35. “Hard no.” – Wayne

36. “Not my pig, not my farm.” – Wayne

37. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” – Wayne

38. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” – Wayne

39. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” – Wayne

40. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” – Wayne

Letterkenny Quotes

41. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” – Wayne

42. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” – Wayne

43. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” – Wayne

44. “You can cross fuck off.” – Wayne

45. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” – Wayne

46. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” – Wayne

Funny Letterkenny Quotes

47. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” – Wayne

48. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? – Jonesy

49. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” – Wayne

50. “…I’m too fat to run.” – Squirrelly Dan

51. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” – Wayne

52. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” – Squirrelly Dan

53. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” – Wayne

Letterkenny Quotes from Gail

54. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your [expletive], cowboy!” – Gail

55. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper.” – Gail

Letterkenny Quotes

56. “Look if you are coming, come correct.” – Gail

57. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.” – Gail

58. “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.” – Gail

59. “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.” – Gail

60. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.” – Gail

More Quotes

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